Dressing for Success
Recently, I read a post written about how to magnetise money into your life. One of the things that the writer suggested was that in order to become wealthy, a man or woman must dress very attractively and appear to be worthy of a million dollars. Well yes, to a degree I agree. But let me point out that for the women that I write these posts for (who have been involved in abusive relationships or have been sexually abused either as a child or an adult), those principles may not be wise to apply.
I remember what it was like when I was maintaining a lean, fit, attractive appearance while I was dancing and for a few years afterwards while running my various staff-based businesses, and I know for a fact that looking attractive and having a nice figure was a very big distraction to the men that I would deal with. Often they wouldn’t look at my eyes when I was talking to them, and because I’m as tall as I am, I would find their eyes wandering away from my own and all over the rest of my body, which meant that they weren’t listening to what I had to say or taking me seriously. It’s impossible to do business with men when they behave in such a way, and at the time their behaviour was very disconcerting for me.
As a result I became quite tough with men when I was in business. I was tired of being treated like I wasn’t capable of running a business, just because I looked attractive at the time. Plus, because I’d been sexually abused when a young woman, I had unhealed aspects of myself that could be tapped into by men whose main priority was to get laid, which made things very difficult for me in business.
I’m going to offer the other point of view to the article that I read that is referred to above. I’m going to say that for women who are unhealed due to trauma and sexual abuse (or even physical abuse), they might actually do well to tone down how good they look if they want to succeed in business. Men are, as you will read on my other site at www.lovehonourandrespect.wordpress.com , driven sexually, and many of them don’t care either way about where a woman is at in life. If they think they can get a foot in the door, so to speak, they will forge ahead and try to do so. So for a woman who isn’t healed, this can be a difficult thing for her. Unhealed women will attract every predator around because of the wound they carry with them. Predators can smell that wound a mile off, and they will come flocking to see if they can take advantage.
I caution women who are going into business for themselves that if you have been sexually abused at all, or if you have been physically/psychologically abused in any way, that you work in a focused way to help yourself heal from the wounds of the past. Get the help you need to make sure that you regain ownership of your own body, because that ownership was usually taken away by the male or males who abused you, and so therefore your boundaries are usually all broken. Nine times out of ten you won’t even realise that what a man is doing when he speaks to you or when he deals with you is inappropriate behaviour, because you have no boundaries in place to know, no decent standard to judge their behaviour by. You are open to being abused again and again. It’s very important that you spend some money on going through the healing process, because if you don’t, like all unhealed women, you’ll doubt yourself and you’ll be easily persuaded into situations that aren’t good for you. Sometimes you won’t even see a predator headed your way, you are so unhealed.
The dichotomy of this is that women who have been sexually abused only know how to gain attention by being sexually attractive. They have no idea what real love feels like. They only know about the kind of love that uses them. So, unconsciously and without being aware of what they are doing, they will dress to attract attention. This will cause them to invite the kind of attention that is going to sabotage their efforts to succeed.
Looking good is for women who are whole. If you are one of the women who has been abused, I encourage you to dress in a non-provocative way… a very businesslike way…. if you aren’t (at the very least) to catch the eye of the men you are dealing with. In doing so you will avoid having to deal with situations that will prevent you from becoming the success you might like to become. Yes sure, it’s a man’s responsibility to behave in a self-controlled manner, however, like I said before, women who aren’t healed are like beacons to men who are predators. The scent of the wound draws predators your way, so do everything you can to avoid becoming one of their conquests. Dressing mildly attractively is one way to help prevent unwanted attention.
You might even decide to work only in a business that serves other women. Party plan is one such business. Beauty salons are another. Teaching children is also a safe way to go, however, if you become a teacher you can’t usually work for yourself unless you become a dance teacher or a drama teacher, or a personal tutor.
Setting up an online store would suit you as well, because you won’t have to deal with people face to face. That could work very well if you’ve been abused.
Anyway, so that’s the other point of view to what was written in the article that prompted me to write this post. Thank you for reading, and choose wisely when you go into business.