The Mindset of a Businessperson Part 2
Emotional Development and How it Affects you in Business
As has been mentioned earlier in this chapter there are four aspects to our being, one of which is our emotional self. Most people are familiar with the physical self and the intellect, and they work on developing those aspects of who they are. Some work at developing their spiritual self or their intuition and psychic self, but very few people tackle their emotional self because it is sometimes too difficult or confronting for them to deal with.
Success in business is highly hinged on how much of the ‘garbage’ you have cleared from your life. By holding on to past regrets or by telling yourself your version of the events that have occurred in your life and
not releasing the negative emotion surrounding them, you actually build a wall between you and the world around you. Sometimes this is done to protect you, and initially it helps you to survive. But if you leave it unattended to for too long that wall actually becomes a prison from which you cannot see out of or escape. It becomes a filter through which you see life, and your judgement becomes impeded by it.
I cannot begin to tell you how important it is to address any issues you may have that may prevent you from relating to those around you in a helpful and loving way. The essence of our spirituality is at the core of our
being, and inside each one of us is a really lovely person just waiting to love and be loved, to help and to be helped by others, to give and to share and to join in all that life has to offer. When emotional issues remain unaddressed we become reactionary to the world around us, and whenever there is a perceived threat to our survival we go into attack mode as a way of defending ourselves. This is actually a biological response – it starts in the brain in the limbic system and is generated in areas such as the Hippocampus and the Amygdala.
Originally these responses helped the human race survive if there was a genuine fear of death confronting a person, so the brain helped the mind go into a heightened state of awareness in readiness to fly into action if need be. But in today’s reasonably safe environment those safeguards are not as necessary as they once were, yet the prehistoric emotional structure of the brain survives and our emotions respond accordingly when challenged. Challenge can mean different things to different people. For example, some will respond to criticism in a defensive way because it was dealt out to them in a destructive manner when they were a child, and because of that they are unable to deal with criticism now. But in order to survive their childhood they had to defend themselves against criticism because they had no control over their environment. So they now do the same thing as adults but mostly in an inappropriate way. Another example is when a person feels threatened when their partner talks to members of the opposite sex. This feeling is usually stirred from previously having someone they loved leave or betray them, be that either a parent or partner, and this event made them not feel safe or capable of surviving, so now they feel fear and jealousy.
When strong emotions surface in the present they originate from these kinds of experiences, and instead of being able to respond to life a person goes into ‘fight or flight’ syndrome, no matter how much they try to intellectualise themselves out of it. Logically they know they could handle things better than they do, yet they seem unable to do so when the situation arises. If you recognise similar actions in yourself, it is only once you have unraveled yourself from the negative emotional charge around past events in your life that you can begin to make a choice as to how you handle a challenging or confronting situation.
On the energy continuum, thoughts are less dense than powerful emotions, and the physical body is more dense than either of these. So it is my understanding that trying to intellectualise yourself out of the way you act or react when there are strong emotions involved is useless – thoughts simply cannot control powerful
emotions. You can use your intellectual abilities to change your belief patterns, but they rarely assist you in the handling of your emotions. Plus, when you work with a therapist at this level you may also have the tendency to relay how previous events in your life occurred from a viewpoint of always being the one who was the victim. However, I can guarantee you that there were times when you, through your actions, were the instigator of the infringements placed on others. But your mind (or rather, ego), in hoping to survive, will not allow you to acknowledge your part in things. You could go to a psychiatrist or any kind of cognitive or talk-therapist for years and see little or no real change, or the change will be very slow, because you will imagine, arrange and relay the past events as they occurred to suit the survival of your self-image. In order to change you must work at a deeper level than the conscious mind.
By bypassing the conscious mind you will access levels of awareness that can be used to help shift away the negative emotional charge surrounding the events of your life. You can work with the subconscious mind and the physical energy fields that surround the body and have tremendous shifts in your emotional self. Plus, these shifts will occur at lightening speed as well. You won’t be forced to wait or live through several lifetimes before you get results. Throughout the history of humankind there have always been mystics and shamans who were aware of the great healing powers available to them, and they worked on restoring both physical and emotional health to people. There is a practice known as Reiki that the Bible refers to as ‘the laying on of hands’ that has been around for centuries, and there are many other mystical forms of healing such as Kinesiology (also known as muscle testing), or therapeutic massage, or even crystal healing. All of these arts can be used with various complimentary techniques to release any pent-up emotions that may be impeding your ability to respond to life rather than reacting to it. When you begin to shift your emotional blockages you will see dramatic change and improvement in your life, and it’s not such a difficult task to get through the day with little or no upsets anymore. Life gets less complicated because you don’t create a mess.
By helping yourself mature emotionally doing this work you will assist your own success in business as every inappropriate reaction costs you money. Amazingly you will soon be able to maintain harmonious relationships where once you had to defend yourself constantly, and the reaction of others to you will no longer bother you. Also, you will have shed ‘emotional weight’ and will no longer need to have a wall around you, which then allows the very essence of whom you are to shine forth and be an example to others – with strength and purity and love. Ultimately, this is what each of us seeks if we are honest with ourselves.
Don’t worry too much either if your business doesn’t last for more than about two or three years. I know that there are lecturers and teachers out there who will tell you that if you do shut down in that time then you are one of the statistics that state that 95% of all businesses go out of business in their first five years. So what?! So what if you decide to change direction?! So what if you discover that this is not for you? Does that necessarily mean that you have failed? No, of course not! As long as you have learned some of the basic principles of being in business for yourself you have not failed. If you decide to discontinue running your business after two or three years you are not obliged to keep going just to avoid becoming a statistic. That would be ridiculous to expect a person to stay when they no longer wish to be wherever they find themselves. Projects such as this are meant for your growth, not for life. In my many years of being in business for myself I have realised that as I have grown and changed so too have my wants, my needs and my priorities. What suited me two years ago does not necessarily suit me now. What challenged me two years ago does not necessarily challenge me now. I do not tie myself to anything, and neither should you.
So in summing up, if you would like to achieve the best that you can be in each of the areas that, combined, will contribute to becoming successful in your business (and you agree with the ideas contained here) then start to take action. Implement something from each of the chapters each day, and gradually over a period of time you will see that things will fall into place for you. If this is your first attempt at being in business then the practical strategies that you will learn from the experiences that you will have will give you a foundation of knowledge that will help you in the future, either by continuing with this business or by going on to other self-employment opportunities.
If you do make a success of this business and you would like to expand then please speak to me about the workshop and/or training manual for business owners who would like to run an agency. Once you have some experience doing the work you will be in a better position to empathise with the people that you will be sourcing work for when you run an agency.
So, I wish you all the best with your new business, and if you need help please feel free to contact me to book a consultation or ask for email support. Whenever I am not teaching workshops I am available for consultations one-on-one and will give you the support and training you need. I do charge for my consultations and email support, but you will find the fees for my support much more cost effective than if you had purchased a franchise or cleaning contract. Go out there and make lots of people happy by making their homes sparkle, and make plenty of money doing it!
Bye for now.